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WHY SPORTS SCHOLARSHIP IS AN OXYMORON 
College & Science Jokes
"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle"
-- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find
my clothes."
-- Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why
he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker

"You guys line up alphabetically by height"
-- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests
don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff
I haven't been through in school."
-- Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman
because of academic requirements

"I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT
to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and
from class"
-- George Raveling, Washington State basketball coach

"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison
for three years, not Princeton."
-- Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with
promoter Don King

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
-- Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during
his visit to Greece

"The ballparks have gotten too crowded. That's why nobody goes to
see the game anymore." -- Yogi Berra

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
-- Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy
like Norman Einstein."
-- Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann


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Random Joke
Boy it's Dark in Here
This little boy hid in his parents bedroom closet as he wanted to see what
took place in their room when the doors were locked.

As he peeked thru the slats of the closet door he saw his mother and her
boyfriend going at it. Suddenly the boys father comes home. The wife
wisks her boyfriend off ...

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