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WHY SPORTS SCHOLARSHIP IS AN OXYMORON
College & Science Jokes
"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle"
-- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find
my clothes."
-- Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why
he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker
"You guys line up alphabetically by height"
-- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach
"I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests
don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff
I haven't been through in school."
-- Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman
because of academic requirements
"I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT
to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and
from class"
-- George Raveling, Washington State basketball coach
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison
for three years, not Princeton."
-- Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with
promoter Don King
"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
-- Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during
his visit to Greece
"The ballparks have gotten too crowded. That's why nobody goes to
see the game anymore." -- Yogi Berra
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
-- Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy
like Norman Einstein."
-- Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann
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