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POLITICALLY CORRECT SAYINGS 
Misc. Jokes
Such as

Drunk = Spacially Perplexed

Insane People = Comprehensibility Selective

Insane People = Selectively Perceptive

Bisexual = Sexually Non-preferential

Bald = Folically Challenged

Bald = Comb-Free

Girl = Pre-Woman

Fat = Calorifically Enhanced

Alternatively, Fat = Horizontally Challenged

Alternatively, Fat = Gravitationally Challenged

Short = Vertically Challenged

Airhead = Reality Impaired

Sarah Brightman = Alternatively Talented

Dead = Metabolically Challenged

Poor = Economically Deficient

Poor = Economically Unprepared

Slum = Economic Oppression Zone

Hunter = Animal Assassin

Old People = Gerentologically Advanced

Homeless = Optionally Residential

Hooker = Sexual-Care Provider

Hooker = Sex Surrogate

Housewife = Domestic Technician

Handicapped = Differently Abled

Deaf = Visually Oriented

Blind = Photonically Non-receptive

Drug Addict = Chemically Challenged

Ugly = Attractively Impaired

Obnoxious = Charismatically Impeded

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

POLITICALLY CORRECT "SHE" TERMS

She does not:
GET PMS
She becomes:
HORMONALLY HOMICIDAL

She does not have:
A KILLER BODY
She is:
TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE

She is not:
A BAD COOK
She is:
MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE

She is not:
A BAD DRIVER
She is:
AUTOMOTIVELY CHALLENGED

She is not a:
PERFECT 10
She is:
NUMERICALLY SUPERIOR

She is not:
EASY
She is:
HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE

She does not:
HATE SPORTS ON TV
She is:
ATHLETICALLY BIASED

She does not have:
SEXY LIPS
She is:
COLLAGEN DEPENDENT

She does not get:
DRUNK
She is:
ACCIDENTALLY OVER-SERVED

You do not ask her:
TO DANCE
You request a:
PRE-COITAL RHYTHMIC EXPERIENCE

She is not:
A GOSSIP
She is a:
VERBAL TERMINATOR

She does not:
WORK OUT TOO MUCH
She is an:
ABDOMINAL OVERACHIEVER

She does not have:
A GREAT BUTT
She is:
GLUTEUS TO THE MAXIMUS

She is not:
HOOKED ON SOAP OPERAS
She is:
MELODRAMATICALLY FIXATED

She is not:
COLD OR FRIGID
She is:
THERMALLY INCOMPATIBLE

She does not:
WEAR TOO MUCH MAKE-UP
She is:
COSMETICALLY OVERSATURATED

She does not have:
GREAT CLEAVAGE (A GREAT RACK)
Her breasts are:
CENTRALLY LOCATED

She will never:
GAIN WEIGHT
She will become:
A METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER

She is not:
A SCREAMER OR MOANER
She is:
VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE

She does not:
SHAVE HER LEGS
She experiences:
TEMPORARY STUBBLE REDUCTION

She does not have:
A HARD BODY
She is:
ANATOMICALLY INFLEXIBLE

She does not:
SUN BATHE
She experiences:
SOLAR ENHANCEMENT

Her breast will never:
SAG
They will:
LOSE THEIR VERTICAL HOLD

She does not:
SHOP TOO MUCH
She is:
OVERLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING PLOYS

She does not:
CUT YOU OFF
She becomes:
HORIZONTALLY INACCESSIBLE

She does not have:
BIG HAIR
She is:
OVERLY AEROSOLED

She does not:
SNORE
She is:
NASALLY REPETITIVE

She does not:
GET DRUNK
She becomes:
VERBALLY DYSLEXIC

She does not have:
BIG HOOTERS
Her:
CUPS RUNNETH OVER

She is not:
TOO SKINNY
She is:
SKELETALLY PROMINENT


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Random Joke
Jigsaw Puzzle

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and
help me.....I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how
to get it started".

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"


The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

...

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