CATEGORIES
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POLITICALLY CORRECT SAYINGS
Misc. Jokes
Such as
Drunk = Spacially Perplexed
Insane People = Comprehensibility Selective
Insane People = Selectively Perceptive
Bisexual = Sexually Non-preferential
Bald = Folically Challenged
Bald = Comb-Free
Girl = Pre-Woman
Fat = Calorifically Enhanced
Alternatively, Fat = Horizontally Challenged
Alternatively, Fat = Gravitationally Challenged
Short = Vertically Challenged
Airhead = Reality Impaired
Sarah Brightman = Alternatively Talented
Dead = Metabolically Challenged
Poor = Economically Deficient
Poor = Economically Unprepared
Slum = Economic Oppression Zone
Hunter = Animal Assassin
Old People = Gerentologically Advanced
Homeless = Optionally Residential
Hooker = Sexual-Care Provider
Hooker = Sex Surrogate
Housewife = Domestic Technician
Handicapped = Differently Abled
Deaf = Visually Oriented
Blind = Photonically Non-receptive
Drug Addict = Chemically Challenged
Ugly = Attractively Impaired
Obnoxious = Charismatically Impeded
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POLITICALLY CORRECT "SHE" TERMS
She does not:
GET PMS
She becomes:
HORMONALLY HOMICIDAL
She does not have:
A KILLER BODY
She is:
TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE
She is not:
A BAD COOK
She is:
MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE
She is not:
A BAD DRIVER
She is:
AUTOMOTIVELY CHALLENGED
She is not a:
PERFECT 10
She is:
NUMERICALLY SUPERIOR
She is not:
EASY
She is:
HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE
She does not:
HATE SPORTS ON TV
She is:
ATHLETICALLY BIASED
She does not have:
SEXY LIPS
She is:
COLLAGEN DEPENDENT
She does not get:
DRUNK
She is:
ACCIDENTALLY OVER-SERVED
You do not ask her:
TO DANCE
You request a:
PRE-COITAL RHYTHMIC EXPERIENCE
She is not:
A GOSSIP
She is a:
VERBAL TERMINATOR
She does not:
WORK OUT TOO MUCH
She is an:
ABDOMINAL OVERACHIEVER
She does not have:
A GREAT BUTT
She is:
GLUTEUS TO THE MAXIMUS
She is not:
HOOKED ON SOAP OPERAS
She is:
MELODRAMATICALLY FIXATED
She is not:
COLD OR FRIGID
She is:
THERMALLY INCOMPATIBLE
She does not:
WEAR TOO MUCH MAKE-UP
She is:
COSMETICALLY OVERSATURATED
She does not have:
GREAT CLEAVAGE (A GREAT RACK)
Her breasts are:
CENTRALLY LOCATED
She will never:
GAIN WEIGHT
She will become:
A METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER
She is not:
A SCREAMER OR MOANER
She is:
VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE
She does not:
SHAVE HER LEGS
She experiences:
TEMPORARY STUBBLE REDUCTION
She does not have:
A HARD BODY
She is:
ANATOMICALLY INFLEXIBLE
She does not:
SUN BATHE
She experiences:
SOLAR ENHANCEMENT
Her breast will never:
SAG
They will:
LOSE THEIR VERTICAL HOLD
She does not:
SHOP TOO MUCH
She is:
OVERLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING PLOYS
She does not:
CUT YOU OFF
She becomes:
HORIZONTALLY INACCESSIBLE
She does not have:
BIG HAIR
She is:
OVERLY AEROSOLED
She does not:
SNORE
She is:
NASALLY REPETITIVE
She does not:
GET DRUNK
She becomes:
VERBALLY DYSLEXIC
She does not have:
BIG HOOTERS
Her:
CUPS RUNNETH OVER
She is not:
TOO SKINNY
She is:
SKELETALLY PROMINENT
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