|Two Aliens land in Detroit, next to a Gas station. The Aliens waddle
out of their ship and look around. The first thing they see that
resembles a being is the Gas pump. The two Aliens approach. The first
one says "Earthling take me to your leader!"
He gets no response. The first Alien looks at his buddy then addresses
the pump again. "Earthling, I said Take me to your leader!"
Still no response. The first Alien then turns to the second and says "If
this Earthling doesn't show me some respect I'm going to blast him!" . The
second Alien replies "O.K. but, I'm just going to stand down on the
The first Alien looks a little puzzled, but waits for the other to waddle
to the next block. He then addresses the pump a third time. "Earthling
take me to your leader!"
No response. The Alien then pulls out his ray-gun and shoots the pump.
After the explosion the Alien gets up dusts himself off then goes down
the block to his buddy, He then says to the second Alien "If you knew
that was going to happen why didn't you warn me?"
The second replies " I didn't know what was going to happen, but I'm not
going to mess with anyone who's penis can hang to the ground, wrap around
his body twice, and still stick it in his ear!"
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Actual article from the LA Times:
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only
trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in
the Severe Burn Unit of the Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his
homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, h...