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75 YEAR OLD 
The Eldery Jokes
A 75 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm
count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar
home and bring me back a sample tomorrow. "The next day the 75
year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the
jar, which is as clean and empty as the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explains:
"Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right hand,
but nothing. Then I tried with- my left hand, but still
nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She - tried with her
right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even
tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the
teeth- out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next
door and- she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but
nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied; "Yup, but no matter what we tried we
couldn't get the DARN jar open!"


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Random Joke
Retire to the Holiday Inn
Recently I was checking my 401k account and thinking about retirement, as
everyone does when they hit 45. I saw an article about nursing and retirement
homes and the expenses. Then it hit me. No nursing home for me! Here is my
plan: I'm checking into the Holiday Inn.
With the average cost fo...

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