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SIGNS 
Idiots Jokes
On a ski lift in Taos, NM:
'No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.'
*******************
Official sign near door: Door Alarmed.
Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened.
*******************
Guys: No shirt, No service
Girls: No shirt, No charge
*******************
Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus
(translation of the Greek):
'Caution: Road Slippery from Grapejuice'
*******************
A sign advertising a Company wide skiing race
Let's see who can go downhill the fastest
*******************
Sign in King's Canyon in California.
'Slow Parking Ahead'
*******************
MORE OF AN AD THAN A SIGN, but...
A billboard seen next to the highway, travelling from
Johannesburg International Airport into town.
An Ad for BMW showing a photo of a BMW 328i convertible with the
roof and all the windows down.
The caption reads:' Our hardware runs better without WINDOWS!!!'
*******************
Two signs found on top of one another in a country
kitchen several years ago:
restrooms
<-----
Please wait for hostess to seat you.
*******************
Sign in front of church in Montpelier, VT:
Bingo Friday night at 8:00pm
Quickies Thursday at 7:30pm.
*******************
Seen in a health food store_
" Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot "
*******************
"Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense."
*******************
I went to a little hole in the wall restaurant:
the sign read: Women are not served here...
You have to bring your own.


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