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VAMPIRE 
Animals Jokes
A young vampire bat came flapping in from the night,
covered in fresh blood and perched himself on the roof
of the cave to get some sleep.

Before long, all the other bats smelled the blood and
began hassling him about where he got it. He was tired
and needing a rest, so he told them to please leave him
alone. However, it was clear that he wasn't going to get
any sleep until he satisfied their curiosity.

"OK!" he said with exasperation, "follow me," and he flew
out of the cave with hundreds of bats following close
behind him.

Down through the valley they went, across the river and
into the deep forest. Finally he slowed down and all the
other bats excitedly gathered around him.

"Do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T."

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Random Joke
The toy train
A mother was working in the kitchen and her son was playing in his
room with a train. When his train was pulling to a stop, she heard him
saying:

"All of you sons of bitches who want to get off, get the hell off
now, cause this is the last stop! And all you sons of bitches who are
returni...

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