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UPGRADING TO "GIRLFRIEND 4.0" 
Computer Jokes
I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having
some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies
1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've
tried have always conflicted with it.
I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background
mode and the sound is turned off. But i'm embarrassed to say I can't find
the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works
okay.

Girlfriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Golf program,
often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing incompatibility.
I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought I might see
better performance from GirlFriend 2.0.
After months of conflicts and otherproblems, I consulted a friend who has
had
experience with GirlFriend 2.0.

He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and
eventually it would require a Token Ring to run properly. He was right - as
soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself.
Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were
supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave me a virus
anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for while.
I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe
first
and also installed a virus protection program. It worked okay for a while
until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system.

I tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still installed,
but
GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didn't know about that automatically senses
the presence of any other version of GirlFriend and communicates with it
in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions.

The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some
problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some obscure
language I
can't understand, much less reprogram. Frankly I think there is too much
attention paid to the look and feel rather than the desired functionality.
Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to
use gold-plated contacts. And I've never liked how GirlFriend is totally
"object-oriented."

A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to
GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of
GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if
you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did, but soon after that, he had
to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a huge resource hog. It has
taken up all his space, so he can't load anything else.
One of the primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it
came
bundled with FreeSexPlus.

Well, it turns out the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes
prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted
to try.

On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system
before he can do anything. Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came
with MotherInLaw which has an automatic pop-up feature he can't turn off.
I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard if you try
to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney
files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.0 won't install
anyway because of insufficient resources.

Please help.

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