|He's the only son of Awh or Oh Schitt. Awh, the fertilizer magnate, married
Oh, the owner of Kneedeep Inn. Awh was born in Shinola, a small town 15
miles south of Luck, Louisiana and just one mile up Schitt creek. If you're
ever traveling in the area, it is important to get your Schitt straight.
While Jack is a right friendly sort of guy, his second cousin Lipp is a
despised physician. During a physical exam, Lipp unexpectedly gave Jack a
shot. Jack jumped right off the table hitting his head on the blades of the
ceiling fan. Ever since the Schitt hit the fan, it's been important to let
people know whether you know Schitt from Shinola or Schitt out of Luck.
People took it very hard when Lipp first moved to Luck and put Schitt on a
shingle over his office door right in the middle of town square. It was only
a short time later that Jack married Noe. They had six children. Holy, their
first, had a pet crocodile he trained to do tricks like a dog. People would
come from miles around to see the croc of Schitt. Next, Jack and Noe had
twin sons, Deep and Dip, two daughters, Fulla and Giva, and another son,
Bull. Deep married his high school sweetheart, Dumb, a high school dropout.
Dip, on the other hand, met and married Lotta while in reform school and
they have a son named Chicken. Just when it looked as if the whole town was
turning to Schitt, Fulla and Giva married the Happens brothers who moved in
from Arkansas. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horace. Bull
traveled extensively before getting back into the Schitt business. He
married a spicy girl from Italy, Pisa and the are eagerly awaiting the
arrival of a baby Schitt. So ................
NOW YOU KNOW JACK SCHITT . :)
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