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BEAUTIFUL! 
Little Johnny Jokes
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my
mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and
it
turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
pregnant, and
he said, 'Beautiful, fucking beautiful!'"


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Random Joke
Alpha watch
A rather confident man, walks into a bar and takes a
seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a
quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch...

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