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ONION BALLS 
Sex Jokes
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut
off one of the man's balls. To avoid a huge
malpractice suit, he decided to replace the ball with
on onion. Several weeks later the patient returned for
a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doctor asked.
"Pretty good," the man said, to the doctor's relief.
But then he added, "I've had some strange side
effects though."
"Whats that?" the doctor asks anxiously
"Well, everytime I piss, my eyes water. When my wife
gives me a blow job, she gets heartburn, and
everytime I pass a hamburger stand I get a hard-on!"

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Random Joke
Retire to the Holiday Inn
Recently I was checking my 401k account and thinking about retirement, as
everyone does when they hit 45. I saw an article about nursing and retirement
homes and the expenses. Then it hit me. No nursing home for me! Here is my
plan: I'm checking into the Holiday Inn.
With the average cost fo...

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