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22 THINGS TO NEVER SAY TO A COP 
Idiots Jokes
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged
in.

3. Aren't you that guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must have been doin' at least 120 mph to keep up with
me...Good job!

5. Excuse me...is stick up hyphenated?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to
be a cop.

7. I almost decided to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school
instead.

8. Bad cop! No donut!

9. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

10. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

11. Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?

12. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's
nightstand.

13. Is it true that people become cops because they're too dumb to
work at McDonald's?

14. I pay your salary!

15. So, uh, you on the take, or what?

16. Gee, Officer...that's terrific...the last officer only gave me a
warning too!

17. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us
does.

18. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no
other cars around-that's how far ahead of me they are.

19. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained
specialist.

20. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell
off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal,
forcing me to speed out of control.

21. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44
Magnum.

22. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

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