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CORPORATE TERMINOLOGY 
Business & Work Jokes
"COMPETITIVE SALARY:"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:"
We don't pay you enough to expect that you'll dress nicely.

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.


"MUST BE FLEXIBLE:"
On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your
ankles.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.


"DUTIES WILL VARY:"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:"
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED:"
Female employees must be childless (and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON:"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been
filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal
formality.


"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:"
You'll need it to replace the three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.


"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or
respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and
do it.

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Random Joke
Maria
Maria is a devout Catholic.

She gets married and has 17 children, then her husband dies.

She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her second husband.

She dies.

At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in her coffin,
looks up to the heavens and says, "At l...

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