|DRUGGIST'S BAD DAY
Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the
husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she
explained, "It's the druggist - he insulted me terribly this morning
on the phone."
Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and
demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the
druggist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it.
This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up.
I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be
damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys
inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little
too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from
the store I had a flat tire.
When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting
for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on
these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head
off. Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash
register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor.
I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels - the phone
is still ringing - when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash
drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch
of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke.
The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to
answer it. It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a
rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!"
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The new nervous priest
The new priest was so nervous at his first mass, he could hardly speak.
Before his second appearance in the pulpit, he asked the Monsignor how he
could relax. The Monsignor said, "Next Sunday, it may help if you put some
vodka in the water pitcher. After a few sips everything should go