|DRUGGIST'S BAD DAY
Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the
husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she
explained, "It's the druggist - he insulted me terribly this morning
on the phone."
Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and
demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the
druggist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it.
This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up.
I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be
damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys
inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little
too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from
the store I had a flat tire.
When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting
for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on
these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head
off. Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash
register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor.
I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels - the phone
is still ringing - when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash
drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch
of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke.
The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to
answer it. It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a
rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!"
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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs & stops to
entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through
his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde
woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and yells,
"I've heard just about enough of your stupid blonde
jokes, asshole! What mak...