CATEGORIES
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QUOTES
Misc. Jokes
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a
department store, and he asked for my autograph. --Shirley Temple
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth
to a child. She must be found and stopped. --Sam Levenson (1911-1980)
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile
and a gun. --Al Capone
Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you!
--Tommy Smothers
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy
something. --Jackie Mason
When you go into court, you're putting your fate into the hands of twelve
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. --Norm Crosby
If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in
the dark. --Michael Landon
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
--Wendell Johnson
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or
lose.--Darrin Weinberg
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.--Aldous Huxley
Put another way: You can always spot a well informed man - his views are
the same as yours. -- Ilka Chase
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