|A Duck walked into a general store and said to the owner,
"got any duck food?"
The owner politely said, "No, I'm sorry we don't carry duck food."
The next day the duck walked into the store and asked again, "Got
any duck food?"
The owner replied, "If you don't recall, I told you yesterday we
don't have any duck food."
The duck walked out of the store. The next he walked in and asked
again. By this time the owner was very angry and shouted "If you
come in here and ask me that one more time I'm going to nail your
little webbed feet to the floor."
The next day the duck walked and said, "Got any nails?"
"Well, no" the store owner replied"
"Got any Duck food?"
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The new nervous priest
The new priest was so nervous at his first mass, he could hardly speak.
Before his second appearance in the pulpit, he asked the Monsignor how he
could relax. The Monsignor said, "Next Sunday, it may help if you put some
vodka in the water pitcher. After a few sips everything should go