|An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The
doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the
eye and said, "I've some bad news for you... you have cancer and it
can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month." Murphy, shocked
and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose
himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room.
There he saw his son who had been waiting.
Murphy said, "Son, we Irish celebrate when things are good and
celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't
so well. I have cancer and I've been given a short time to live.
Let's head for the pub and have a few pints."
After three or four pints the two were feeling a little less somber.
There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually
approached by some of Murphy's old friends who asked what the two
Murphy told them that the Irish celebrate the good and the bad... he
went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He
told his friends, "I've only got a few weeks to live as I have been
diagnosed with AIDS." The friends gave Murphy their condolences and
they had a couple more beers.
After his friends left, Murphy's son leaned over and whispered, "Dad,
I thought you said that you were dying from cancer. You just told your
friends that you were dying from AIDS!" Murphy said,"I am dying from
cancer, son, I just don't want any of them sleeping with your mother
after I'm gone."
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Smelling What You Eat
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is
also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm
sorry, Sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a
dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from
there." A little confused,...