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I LOVE THIS COUNTRY, BUT... 
Lists Jokes

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of
a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way
to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large
fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain
the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars
in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls
and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we
didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and
buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the
process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with
Braille.

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Random Joke
Santa
Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was
getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what
to do? The shrink said, "Since Christmas is coming up,
you should ask Johnny what he wants Santa to bring
him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list,
leave a pile of dog poop in...

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