|HOW TO DRIVE PEOPLE INSANE
Business & Work Jokes
|HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE
1. Put your waste basket on your desk and label it 'IN'.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
3. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're
doing. For example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.'
4. Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts,
etc., in the breakroom. When people complain that there was nothing
there, lean, back, rub your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster
5. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.
6. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a
7. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
8. Insist that your e-mail address be email@example.com
9. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
10. Suggest that the Coke machine be filled with beer.
11. Keep asking how many cups of coffee is 'too many'?
12. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
13. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
14. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors'.
15. When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your car's
windshield wipers running during all weather conditions to keep 'em
16. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
17. Practice making fax and modem noises.
18. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level
lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it
19. Dont use any punctuation
20. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
21. Ask people what sex they are.
22. At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at
passing cars to see if they slow down.
23. Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'.
24. Honk and wave at strangers.
25. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, then eat the
complimentary mints by the cash register.
26. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
27. type only in lowercase.
28. Go around saying "What? Never mind. It's gone now."
29. Sing along at the opera.
30. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
31. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
party because you're not in the mood.
And the final way to annoy people:
32. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they
sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.
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Pround Blonde Student
A girl came skipping home FROM school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she
yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only
count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9,
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, i...