At the start of an important trial, a small town attorney called his
first witness to the stand. She seemed like a sweet, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy. You've become a huge disappointment to
me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a hot shot lawyer,
when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to
anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense
She replied, "Why, of course I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he,
also, is a real disappointment. He's lazy, bigoted, never has a nice
word to say about anybody, and he drinks like a fish. He's been
divorced five times, and everybody knows that his law practice is one
of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
The judge rapped his gavel, to quiet the tittering among the
spectators in the courtroom. Once the room was silent, he called both
attorneys to his bench. In a quiet, menacing voice, he warned, "If
either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for
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