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REALITY IN MARRIAGE 
Men vs. Women Jokes

This couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband,
although very much in love, couldn't wait to go into town, tease the
barmaids and party with his old buddies, so he says to his new wife,
"Honey, I'll be right back..."

"Where are you going coochy cooh...?", asked the wife. "I'm going to
the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife says to him, "You want a beer my love?" Then she opens the
door to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer,
brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India,
etc.

The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that he can
think of saying is, "Yes, loolie loolie... but the bar.... you
know... the frozen glass...". He didn't get to finish the sentence,
when the wife interrupts him by saying, "You want a frozen glass
puppy face"? She takes a huge beer mug out of the freezer so frozen
that she was getting chills holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, says, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the
bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I
won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres poochi pooh?" She opens the oven and takes
out 15 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a
blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But sweet honey...at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty
words and all that..."

The wife looks at him and said: "You want some dirty words cutie
pie? SIT THE FUCK DOWN - DRINK YOUR FUCKIN' BEER IN YOUR FROZEN
FUCKIN' MUG - EAT YOUR FUCKIN' SNACKS - YOU AREN'T GOING TO THE
FUCKIN' BAR !!! GOT IT, ASSHOLE ?!?!"

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