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AN ATHEIST 
Misc. Jokes
An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring
all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What a
powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he
was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes
behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot Kodiak brown bear
beginning to charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could down
the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was
rapidly closing on him. Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that
tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer.
His heart pounding in his chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas,
he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself
up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw
and raising its right paw to strike him.

"OH MY GOD! ..."

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

Even the river stopped moving ...

As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from
all around...

"YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS, TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T
EXIST AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT
ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A
BELIEVER?"

Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and
said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all
these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?"

"VERY WELL." Said God.

The light went out.

The river ran.

The sounds of the forest resumed.

... and the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws
together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, thank you for this food
which I am about to receive."

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