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I MUST BE DEAD 
The Eldery Jokes
An elderly couple is lying in bed one morning having just awakened
from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't
touch me!"

"Why not," he asks.

She answers back, "Because I'm dead."

The husband says to her, "What on earth are you talking about? We're
both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."

The wife says, "Not so, I'm definitely dead."

Her husband insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you
think you're dead?"

His wife answers, "I know I'm dead, because I woke up this morning
and nothing hurts.

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Random Joke
Grown Up words
The kindergartners were now in the first grade. Their teacher wanted them
to be more grown up since they were no longer in kindergarten. She told
them to use grown up words instead of baby words. She then asked them to
tell her what they did during the summer.

The first little one said he wen...

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