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ACTUAL MEDICAL CHART NOTES 
Medical Jokes
1. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a
year.
3. On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day
it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to
be depressed.
5. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
6. Healthy-appearing decrepit, 69-year-old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.
7. The patient refused autopsy.
8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
9. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
10. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
11. She is numb FROM her toes down.
12. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
13. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
14. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
15. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.


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