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RECTUM STRECHER 
Rude Jokes
After a day of fishing at a nearby island, Bob was on his way home. No
sooner had he crossed the bridge to the mainland, that he saw a policeman
following him with his lights flashing. Bob pulled over, like a good
citizen.
The cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were
going,
BOY?" Bob thought for a second and said, "Uhh, 60?"
"67 mph, son! 67 mph in a 55 zone!" said the cop.
"But if you already knew, officer" replied Bob, "why did you ask me?"
Fuming over Bob's answer, the officer growled, in his normal sarcastic
fashion, "That's speeding and you're getting a ticket and a fine!"The cop
took a good close look at Bob, in his stained fishing attire and said, "You
don't even look like you have a job! Why, I've never seen anyone so scruffy
in my entire life!"
Bob answered, "I've got a job! I have a good, well-paying job!"
The cop leaned in the window, smelling Bob's fish catch, said, "What kind
of a job would a bum like you have?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher!" replied Bob.
"What did you say, BOY?" asked the patrolman.
"I'm a rectum stretcher!", repeated Bob.
The cop, scratching his head, asked, "What does a rectum stretcher do?"
Bob explained, "People call me up and say they need to be stretched, so I
go over to their house. I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple
more, and then one whole hand, then two. Then I slowly pull them farther and
farther apart until it's a full six feet across."
The cop, absorbed with these bizarre images in his mind, asked, "What the
hell do you do with a six foot asshole?"
Bob nonchalantly answered, "You give it a radar gun and stick it at the end
of a bridge!"

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Random Joke
Retire to the Holiday Inn
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With the average cost fo...

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