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IN THE ELEVATOR 
Idiots Jokes
SAD THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR:
* When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
* Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go
back for more.
* Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the
wrong ones.
* Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know
what floor you're on.
* Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After
awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
* Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then
scream, "That's mine!"
* Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
* Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask
if they have an appointment.
* Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
* Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they
hear something ticking.
* Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures
and exits with the passengers.
* Ask, "Did you feel that?"
* Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
* When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't
panic, they open up again."
* Swat at flies that don't exist.
* Tell people that you can see their aura.
* Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.
* Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut
up, all of you, just shut up!"
* Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask,
Got enough air in there?"
* Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
without getting off.
* Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror,
"You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
* Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other
passengers.
* Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
* Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
* Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce,
"I have new socks on."
* Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
other passengers, "This is my personal space!"


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