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ALPHA WATCH 
At the Bar Jokes
A rather confident man, walks into a bar and takes a
seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a
quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch
and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch?
What's so special about it?"

"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he
explains.

"What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken
then, because I am wearing panties!"

And the man starts tapping on the watch face and says,
"Damn thing must be an hour fast!"


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Random Joke
Maria
Maria is a devout Catholic.

She gets married and has 17 children, then her husband dies.

She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her second husband.

She dies.

At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in her coffin,
looks up to the heavens and says, "At l...

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