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HELL 
Misc. Jokes
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in
despair, he has his first meeting with a demon...

Demon: Why so glum?

Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell!

Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here.
You a drinking man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Demon: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we
do -
drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and
fresca... we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!


Guy: Gee, that sounds great!
Demon: You a smoker?

Guy: You better believe it!

Demon: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest
cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out.
If you get cancer - no biggie - you're already dead, remember?

Guy: Wow... that's awesome!

Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why yes, as a matter of fact I do.

Demon: Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps,
Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt...
well,you're dead anyhow. What about Drugs?!?

Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...

Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a
great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a
submarine. You can do all the drugs you want - you're dead, who
cares.

Guy: WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!

Demon: You gay?

Guy: No...

Demon: Ooooh (grimaces). You're gonna hate Fridays.


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