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CLINTON ONE-LINERS 
Politic Jokes
Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky is rich?
She got a wad of Bills.

Kenneth Star called off his investigation of the President due to a
lack of evidence. It turns out Clinton didn't tell her to lie - he told her
to kneel.

What is Monica's favorite game?
Swallow the Leader.

What's the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic?
Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.

Did you hear Clinton doesn't use bookmarks?
He just bends over the pages.

Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear?
To keep his ankles warm.

Have you heard the latest news about Monica?
She tried to get a position on the Presidential Staff, but blew it.

Why did President Clinton invite Monica into his private study?
He wanted to show here his executive branch.

What does Monica Lewinsky's resume' read?
Served the Presidential Staff.

Why was it difficult for Clinton to fire Monica?
He couldn't give her a pink slip without asking her to try it on first.

What do Monica, Jennifer, Paula and Bob Dole all have in common?
They were ALL upset when Clinton finished first.

The election Bill Clinton did win
Tho' some say he's living in sin
Now Kenneth Starr
She fucks her twat with cigars
And it's Bill's turn to take it on the chin.

When, exactly, did Clinton realize that Paula Jones was NOT a democrat?
When she didn't swallow everything he presented.

What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill CLinton wishes HE had?
A dead girlfriend.

Most people are concerned about getting AIDS from sex. Clinton is
concerened about getting sex from aids.

We've all been aware that Clinton plays the saxophone, but apparently he
also plays the whoreMonica.

Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released in response to President Clinton's
testimony, stated:
"I've had enough. This whole experience has left a bitter taste in my
mouth and I can't stomach it anymore. I feel as if I'm getting the shaftand
that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in my face.
" This may be a load to handle, but when things are hard, that's when
I'm at my best. I have faced hard things in the past, and I know what's
coming. I will 'meat' the challenge the only way I know how: head-on.
" I have licked bigger things than this before, and I will again. No
one will ever be able to say that Monica Lewinsky in't a finisher, that she
quit before the job was done. I will work nonstop and fight this
blow-by-blow until I am wiped clean of this dirty affair.
"I will not be stained by it."


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