|Moishe has been lying ill for weeks. A few days ago he slipped into a
coma, and everyone feared the worst. The family is called. The son from
Miami. The daughter from Bridgewater. The aunts. The uncles. All sit waiting
for the end.
Suddenly a miracle! Moishe opens his eyes. Weakly he motions for his
son to approach so he can hear talk to him. Moishe is weak from the illness
and so his voice is very faint as he says, "I`ve been ill?" "Yes, papa,"
replies the son with tears choking his voice, "very ill."
The papa nods and speaks again. "I had a dream. I was nearing death
when I suddenly smelled the aroma of your mother`s apple strudel. I love
that strudel. As wonderful a cook as my Sadie is, that strudel is her
masterpiece." He lays back against the pillow weak from the exertion
"What a wonderful dream, papa. But the smell is real. Mama just took
the strudel out of the oven to cool." "A miracle!" cries Moishe as he
tries to rise, and weakly falls against the pillows. He turns to his son and
says, "I`m still too weak to get up. Go to the kitchen and get for me a
piece of Sadie`s strudel."
The son obediently rises and leaves the room to fulfill his father`s
request, only to return a few moments later empty handed. He sits
again by his father`s side.
Moishe looks at him and says, "Nu? Where is the strudel?"
The son replies, "I`m sorry, papa. Mama says it`s for AFTER the funeral!"
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In the elevator
SAD THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR:
* When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
* Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go
back for more.
* Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push...