|A man complained to his friend, "My elbow hurts. I better go to the
doctor." "Don't do that, said his friend. There's a new computer at the
drugstore that can diagnose any problem quicker and cheaper than a
All you have to do is put in a urine sample, deposit $10.00 and the
computer will diagnose your problem and plan a treatment."
The man figured he had nothing to lose, so he took a sample of his
urine down to the drugstore. Finding the machine, he poured in the
urine and deposited $10.00. The machine began to buzz and various lights
flashed. After a short pause, a slip of paper popped out which said
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water twice a day.
Avoid heavy labor. Your elbow will be better in two weeks.
That evening as the man contemplated this breakthrough medical
science, he began to suspect fraud. To test his theory, he mixed
together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine
samples from his wife and teenage daughter. To top it all off, he
masturbated into the jar. He took his concoction down to the drug
store, poured it into the machine and deposited $10.00 The machine
went through the same buzzing and flashing routine as before and
printed these results:
Your tap water has lead.............Get a filter.
Your dog has worms................Give him vitamins.
Your daughter is on drugs............Get her in rehab.
Your wife is pregnant, It's not yours.....Get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get
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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs & stops to
entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through
his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde
woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and yells,
"I've heard just about enough of your stupid blonde
jokes, asshole! What mak...