CATEGORIES
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ALCOHOL WARNINGS
Misc. Jokes
Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have
accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all beer containers:
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when
you are not.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an
asshole.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story
over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your pants.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse
with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu
powers.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning
and
see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher,
smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
WITH you.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to
literally disappear.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
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