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ATTORNEY'S FEES 
Lawyer Jokes
An elderly gentleman, quite well to do, realized that his
life was turning down the final stretch, so he summoned the
three friends that he trusted the most for some advice: one
was a doctor, one a priest, and one an attorney.
"I've been thinking lately," he said to them, "that perhaps
there is something to the ancient Egyptian belief that when
we die, we take some things with us to the next world. So,
I'm giving each of you an envelope with $1 million in it.
At my funeral, I ask each of you to slip it into my casket
so that I can use it on my journey to the next world." The
three agreed.
A few weeks later, he was dead. At the funeral, each of
the three went up to the casket, and each placed an envelope
into the casket. Afterwards, the three were talking, and
the doctor couldn't keep it in any longer. "I have a
confession," he said. "This year has been quite bad for the
clinic. My CAT scan machine broke, and I had to scrape to
replace it. I took $80,000 out of the envelope to pay for
it."
As the other two cringed, the priest then added, "I must
confess, too. The poor have been especially bad this year,
and to provide them with food, I took $120,000 out and used
it to feed and clothe them."
The attorney was beside himself. "I am disgusted. Our
friend asked but one thing of each of us, and trusted us
with his last request. How could you two break that trust
and go against his wishes?"
The doctor replies, "You expect us to believe that you, an
attorney, didn't take anything out of your envelope?"
"I would never!" replied the attorney.
"In that envelope was a personal check for the FULL amount!"


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Random Joke
Give 103%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
...

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