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HOW TO KILL AN EEL
Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather
curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys
and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his
questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining
things to Johnny she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and
watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did, and the following
morning Johnny described everything to his mother.
Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for awhile, then he turned off
most of the lights. Then he started to kiss and hug her, I figured sis
must be getting sick because her face started looking funny. He must have
thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart,
just like the doctor would. Except he's not as good as the doctor, because
he seemed to have trouble finding her heart.
He was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started
panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been getting
cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time, sis got toward the
end of the couch. This was when the fever started. I know it was a fever
because sis told him she was really HOT.
Finally, I found out what was making them so sick.... a big eel had
gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood
there about 9 inches long. HONEST! anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep
it from getting away. When sis saw it she got really scared. Her eyes big
and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff
like that. I should tell her about the ones I saw at the lake!
"Anyway", sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by bitting its head
off. All of a sudden, she made a noise and let the eel go... I guess it bit
her back. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he
took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eels head to keep
it from biting again.
Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor lock on
it. And he helped by laying on the top of the eel. The eel put up a hell
of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost
upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squishing it between
them.
After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her
boyfriend sat up and sure enough they had killed the eel... I knew it was
dead because it just hung there limp and some of its insides were hanging
out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they
went on courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. And by
golly, the eel wasn't dead after all. It jumped straight up and started to
fight again.
I guess eels are like cats.... they have nine lives or something.
This time sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After
about 35 minutes of struggle, they finally killed the eel. I know it was
dead this time because I saw sis's boyfriend peel off the skin and flush
it down the toilet.
Mother fainted.
Talk about being explicit!!!!!!
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