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FOREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN..... 
Religion Jokes
The day finally arrived: Forest Gump dies and goes
to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by St.
Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and
Forest approaches the gatekeeper.

Saint Peter says, "Well, Forest, it's certainly
good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I
must inform you that the place is filling up fast,
and we've been administering an entrance
examination for everyone. The tests are fairly
short, but you need to pass before you can get into
Heaven."

Forest responds, "It shore is good to be here St.
Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever
told me about any entrance exams. Sure hope the
test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as
it was."

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forest. But the
test I have for you is only three questions. Here
is the first: What days of the week begin with the
letter 'T'? Second, how many seconds are there in
a year? Third, what is God's first name?"

Forest goes away to think the questions over. He
returns the next day and goes up to St. Peter to
try to answer the exam questions.

St. Peter waves him up and asks, "Now that you have
had a chance to think the questions over, tell me
your answers."

Forest says, "Well, the first one, -how many days
of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Shucks,
that one's easy; that'd be Today and Tomorrow!"

The saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims,
"Forest! That's not what I was thinking, but ...
you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't
specify, so I give you credit for that answer."

"How about the next one" says St. Peter, "how many
seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forest. "But, I thunk
and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer
can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve! Forest,
how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve
seconds in a year?"

Forest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve:
January second, February second, March second....."

"Hold it," interrupts St., Peter. "I see where
you're going with it. And I guess I see your point,
though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but
I'll give you credit for that one too."

"Let's go on with the next and final question,"
says St. Peter, "Can you tell me God's first name?"

Forest says, "Well shore, I know God's first name.
Everbody probly knows it. It's Howard."

"Howard?" asks St. Peter. "What makes you think
it's 'Howard'?"

Forest answers, "It's in the prayer."

"The prayer?" asks St. Peter, "Which prayer?"

"The Lord's Prayer," responds Forest: "Our Father,
who art in heaven, Howard be thy name...."


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