|KATHY'S REAL LIFE 9 TYPES OF BOYFRIENDS
Men vs. Women Jokes
|This is a piece of humor written by Kathy McMenamin, a subscriber at the
list, as respond to the "9 Types of Girlfriends". Thanks Kathy!
Kathy's Real Life 9 Types of Boyfriends
The Suggestor - "Don't you think that dress is a little too short for
church? Don't you think you're a little too old for that style?"
Also known as: Wet Blanket, Killjoy, Run screaming before he sucks you
into the black hole
Advantages: Is always paying attention to you
Disadvantages: Is always paying attention to you
Mr. Couch Potato - "Honey, could you hand me the remote?"
Also known as: The Lump, What's That on Your Couch
Advantages: Will never leave you
Disadvantages: Will never leave your house
Drugboy - "Hey, let's get stoned and go see The Wall."
Also known as: Pothead, Junkie, Drunkard
Advantages: Will never hesitate to let you know how much he needs you
Disadvantages: He needs you to help him keep up his drug supply
Mr. Moneybags - "Let's take a weekend junket to Zanzibar! No, honey,
I'll pay for everything!"
Also known as: Cash Man, A Fool and His Money, Boy with the Bucks, Mr.
Advantages: Will spend a lot of money on you
Disadvantages: Will expect to rule your every move and entire life from
the first penny he spends forward
Dopey - "Hi! I know it's three in the morning, but you told me if I was
ever in the neighborhood, I should stop by!"
Also known as: Dunce, Clueless, I Can't Believe He Just Doesn't Get It
Advantages: Has a charming naivete about him
Disadvantages: Eventually you realize that will never go away
Lounge Lizard - "Hey, babe, let's go to my place. I want to lick the
sweat from your navel."
Also known as: John Revolting, Hey Baby, Don't You Know the Seventies
Advantages: I'm thinking
Disadvantages: Will leave slime on every surface he touches
The Complainer - "I hate my job. I hate my car. I hate my roommates.
I hate my life."
Also known as: Mr. Depressing; Whine, Whine, Whine; Just Shut Up Before
I Strangle You
dvantages: Talks to you
Disadvantages: Talks to you all the time
Mr. Nice Guy - "The ballet? Whatever you want, honey."
Also known as: The Good Sport, Sweetheart, Spineless
Advantages: Will do whatever you want
Disadvantages: Will never make any suggestions
Prince Charming - "Dearest, I love you just the wonderful way you are.
I must take you into my arms and ravish you now."
Also known as: Mr. Right, The Man, I've Been Looking For You
Disadvantages: May not exist
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So you don't kow Jack Schitt?
He's the only son of Awh or Oh Schitt. Awh, the fertilizer magnate, married
Oh, the owner of Kneedeep Inn. Awh was born in Shinola, a small town 15
miles south of Luck, Louisiana and just one mile up Schitt creek. If you're
ever traveling in the area, it is important to get your Schitt straight.