|KATHY'S REAL LIFE 9 TYPES OF BOYFRIENDS
Men vs. Women Jokes
|This is a piece of humor written by Kathy McMenamin, a subscriber at the
list, as respond to the "9 Types of Girlfriends". Thanks Kathy!
Kathy's Real Life 9 Types of Boyfriends
The Suggestor - "Don't you think that dress is a little too short for
church? Don't you think you're a little too old for that style?"
Also known as: Wet Blanket, Killjoy, Run screaming before he sucks you
into the black hole
Advantages: Is always paying attention to you
Disadvantages: Is always paying attention to you
Mr. Couch Potato - "Honey, could you hand me the remote?"
Also known as: The Lump, What's That on Your Couch
Advantages: Will never leave you
Disadvantages: Will never leave your house
Drugboy - "Hey, let's get stoned and go see The Wall."
Also known as: Pothead, Junkie, Drunkard
Advantages: Will never hesitate to let you know how much he needs you
Disadvantages: He needs you to help him keep up his drug supply
Mr. Moneybags - "Let's take a weekend junket to Zanzibar! No, honey,
I'll pay for everything!"
Also known as: Cash Man, A Fool and His Money, Boy with the Bucks, Mr.
Advantages: Will spend a lot of money on you
Disadvantages: Will expect to rule your every move and entire life from
the first penny he spends forward
Dopey - "Hi! I know it's three in the morning, but you told me if I was
ever in the neighborhood, I should stop by!"
Also known as: Dunce, Clueless, I Can't Believe He Just Doesn't Get It
Advantages: Has a charming naivete about him
Disadvantages: Eventually you realize that will never go away
Lounge Lizard - "Hey, babe, let's go to my place. I want to lick the
sweat from your navel."
Also known as: John Revolting, Hey Baby, Don't You Know the Seventies
Advantages: I'm thinking
Disadvantages: Will leave slime on every surface he touches
The Complainer - "I hate my job. I hate my car. I hate my roommates.
I hate my life."
Also known as: Mr. Depressing; Whine, Whine, Whine; Just Shut Up Before
I Strangle You
dvantages: Talks to you
Disadvantages: Talks to you all the time
Mr. Nice Guy - "The ballet? Whatever you want, honey."
Also known as: The Good Sport, Sweetheart, Spineless
Advantages: Will do whatever you want
Disadvantages: Will never make any suggestions
Prince Charming - "Dearest, I love you just the wonderful way you are.
I must take you into my arms and ravish you now."
Also known as: Mr. Right, The Man, I've Been Looking For You
Disadvantages: May not exist
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THE GHOST SHIT
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper,
but there's no shit in the bowl.
THE CLEAN SHIT
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but
there's no shit on the toilet paper.
THE WET SHIT
You wipe your ass fifty ti...