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CHLORINE IN THE GENE POOL? 
Idiots Jokes
More evidence that the gene pool may need a little chlorine:

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Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49 cents. Two for a dollar.

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I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.
She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the
card was signed.
When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare he
signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the
receipt.

So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared
that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have
it, they matched.

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Warning!

At a grocery store in San Jose, they have new credit card/ bank card
readers at the checkout stands. If you don't know how to orient your
card to swipe it through the reader, the checkout person will say,
"Strip
down, face toward me."

Am I wrong, or is this just asking for trouble?

--------

Idiots and Geography:

After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I
described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic.
My boss said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?"

Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was
just south of Elbonia.
He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"

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Advice for Idiots:

An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety
Handbook for Employees."

"Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."

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Idiots in the Neighborhood

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer
wanted them to cross there.

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Idiots and Computers:

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
one of the branch banks who had this question:

"I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have
a fire downtown?"

--------
Idiots In Food Services

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked
the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was
sorry, but they only had iceberg.


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Random Joke
Retire to the Holiday Inn
Recently I was checking my 401k account and thinking about retirement, as
everyone does when they hit 45. I saw an article about nursing and retirement
homes and the expenses. Then it hit me. No nursing home for me! Here is my
plan: I'm checking into the Holiday Inn.
With the average cost fo...

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