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AMAZING COMPARISONS BETWEEN ELVIS AND JESUS 
Religion Jokes
Jesus said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39)
Elvis said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA, 1956)

Jesus is the Lords's shepherd.
Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.

Jesus was part of the Trinity.
Elvis' first band was a trio.

Jesus walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
Elvis surfed. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount, 1965)

Jesus' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
Elvis' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

Jesus was resurrected.
Elvis had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.

Jesus said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink."(John
7:37)
Elvis said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM, 1957)

Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights.
Elvis had irregular eating habits. (e.g. 5 banana splits for breakfast)

Jesus is a Capricorn. (December 25)
Elvis is a Capricorn. (January 8)

Matthew was one of Jesus' many biographers. (The Gospel According to
Matthew)
Neil Matthews was one of Elvis' many biographers. (Elvis: A Golden
Tribute)

"[Jesus] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as
snow."(Matthew 28:3)
Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightening bolts.

Jesus lived in state of grace in a Near Eastern land.
Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.

Mary, an important woman in Jesus' life, had an Immaculate Conception.
Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis' life, went to Immaculate
Conception High School.

Jesus was first and foremost the Son of God.
Elvis first recorded with Sun Studios, which today are still considered
to be his foremost recordings.

Jesus was the lamb of God.
Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.

Jesus' Father is everywhere.
Elvis' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.

Jesus was a carpenter.
Elvis' favorite high school class was wood shop.

Jesus wore a crown of thorns.
Elvis wore Royal Crown hairstyler.

Jesus H. Christ has 12 letters.
Elvis Presley has 12 letters.

No one knows what the "H" in "Jesus H. Christ" stood for.
No one was really sure if Elvis' middle name was "Aron" or "Aaron".

Jesus said: "Man shall not live by bread alone."
Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.


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Random Joke
So you don't kow Jack Schitt?
He's the only son of Awh or Oh Schitt. Awh, the fertilizer magnate, married
Oh, the owner of Kneedeep Inn. Awh was born in Shinola, a small town 15
miles south of Luck, Louisiana and just one mile up Schitt creek. If you're
ever traveling in the area, it is important to get your Schitt straight.
...

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