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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Misc. Jokes
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
"other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be
free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.
KEN STARR:
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of
the President of the United States of America in an effort to
distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the
criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to
cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the
president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and
undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer
the chicken unconditional immunity provided he co-operates fully with
our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to
reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any
Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also
are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to
the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an
effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer,
or at least to ruffle his feathers.)
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes!
The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed,
I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough
for us.
ARISTOTLE:
It is in the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified
in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN:
What chicken?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?
FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken XP, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook-and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of
eChicken.
EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath
the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define chicken please?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?
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