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THE TOP TEN SIGNS THAT YOU'RE BEING STALKED BY A LEPRECHAUN 
Lists Jokes

Generic-looking green van parked across the street with Notre Dame
bumper sticker.

Every time you turn around the pitter-pattering stops and that green
fire hydrant seems to have gotten a little closer.

Green lipstick marks on the butt of your Dockers.

You're being followed by a large woman with a sultry voice and a
dying career. (Oops! That's a sign you're being stalked by Chaka
Khan.)

You don't recall owning an anatomically correct lawn gnome.

Card delivered with the bouquet of 4-leaf clovers reads, "I bet
you're magically delicious!"

When you come home from work, the potatoes are missing from the
cupboard and your parrot is singing "Danny Boy."

Prank caller has a really corny Irish accent, and Richard Gere has an
airtight alibi.

Those tiny green hairs on your toilet seat.

Sultry voice from shower soap dish asks, "Is that your shillelagh, or
are you just happy to see me?"

Pink hearts, yellow moons, blue diamonds scratched on your car at
knee-level, and Ross Perot is nowhere to be found.

Them little green pellets in the litter box ain't M&M's, Chester.

Every day this week you've noticed the same buckle shoes dangling
just above the floor in the stall next to you.

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Random Joke
Yo momma's so fat
Yo momma's so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac

Yo momma's so fat, when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3
commercials

Yo momma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale

Yo momma's so fat, when she steps on the scale it says one at a time
please

Yo momma'...

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