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At the Bar Jokes
A guy walks into a bar. He sits down at the end of the bar, next to
another guy, who was the only patron in the bar when he walked in. He
talks to him for about 5 minutes then moves to the other end of the
bar. The bar owner walks up to him and asks if he would like a drink.
He orders a beer and says, "Man! That guy down there sure does
complain alot. He thinks he's got it rough, but his life is easy!"
The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, mister! I've seen you in
here before. You're in here any day of the week at any time. Just
what do you do for a living?" The guy replies, "I make bets for a
living. I'll show you. I'll bet you $5 I can bite my right eye!" The
bartender looks at him and says, "OK, you're on." The guy takes his
glass eye out and clenches it between his teeth. The bartender says,
"I didn't know you had a glass eye. You win." The guy then says,
"I'll let you win your money back. I'll bet you $5 I can bite my left
eye." The bartender thinks for a moment and replies, "I know you're
not blind so you can't have 2 glass eyes. OK, your on!" The guy then
proceeds to take his false teeth out of his mouth and clamps them
over his left eye. With this, the bartender says, "Hey buddy, you won
again. As you can see,I don't do a lot of business in here. I can't
afford to make any more bets with you." The guy replies, "I'll tell
you what. I'll give you a guaranteed way to win your money back. I'll
bet you $10 that I can walk 6 feet away and pee in this bottle, which
I'll leave here on the bar. I won't miss a drop. I won't even hit the
rim, it will go right in the bottle." After a few minutes of thought,
the bartender says, "There's no way! You're on!" The guy walks 6 feet
from the bar, drops his pants and pees all over everything. He pees on
the bar, the stools and the floor. He doesn't even come close to
hitting the bottle, let alone getting it in the bottle. With this,
the bartender starts laughing and exclaims, "Ahah! I knew you
couldn't do it. I won my back my $10!!!" Just then, the guy at the
other end of the bar passes out. The bartender looks down at him and
says, "What happened to him?" The guy replies, "Oh, he'll be
alright. I just bet him $1000 that I could piss all over you and
your bar and you'd laugh about it."

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