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THE CUSTOMER AND THE UNIX CONSULTANT 
Computer Jokes

Cust: what is the command that will tell me the revision code of a
program ?
UNIX: yes, that's correct.
Cust: no, what is it ?
UNIX: yes.
Cust: so, which is the one ?
UNIX: no.'which' is used to find the program.
Cust: stop this. who are you ?
UNIX: use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'.you can also 'finger yoo' to get
information about 'yoo'.
Cust: all i want to know is what finds the revision code ?
UNIX: use 'what'.
Cust: that's what i am trying to find out. isn't that true ?
UNIX: no. 'true' gives you 0.
Cust: which one ?
UNIX: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'
Cust: let's get back to my problem. what program? how do i find it?

UNIX: type 'find/-name it' to find 'it'.type 'what program' to get
the revision code.
Cust: i want to find the revision code.
UNIX: you can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'.

Cust: which command will do what i need?
UNIX: no. 'which command' will find 'command'.
Cust: i think i understand. let me write that.
UNIX: you can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your system.

Cust: write what?
UNIX: no. 'write that'.'what program'.
Cust: cut that out!
UNIX: yes. those are valid files for 'cut'.don't forget the options.

Cust: do you always do this ?
UNIX: 'du' will give you disk usage.
Cust: HELP!
UNIX: 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System(SCCS).
Cust: you make me angry.
UNIX: no, I don't 'make me' angry but i did 'make programname' when i
was upset once.
Cust: i don't want to make trouble, so no more.
UNIX: no 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. every system has
'more'.
Cust: nice help! I'm confused more now.
UNIX: understand that since 'help' is such a small program, it is
better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not allowed but 'at
now' is. Unless of course 'now' is a file name.
Cust: this is almost as confusing as my PC.
UNIX: i didn't know you needed help with 'pc'.let me get you to the
Pascal compiler team.

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