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LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER 
Computer Jokes
An application was for employment.
A program was a TV show.
A cursor used profanity.
A keyboard was a piano.

Memory was something that you lost with age.
A CD was a bank account.
And if you had a 3 1/2 floppy
You hoped no one found out!

Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file,
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail awhile!

Log on was adding wood to the fire.
Hard drive was a long trip on the road.
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived,
And a backup happened to your commode!

Cut - you did with a pocket knife.
Paste you did with glue.
A web was a spider's home,
And a virus was the flu!

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head.
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash,
But when it happens they wish they were dead!

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Random Joke
Retire to the Holiday Inn
Recently I was checking my 401k account and thinking about retirement, as
everyone does when they hit 45. I saw an article about nursing and retirement
homes and the expenses. Then it hit me. No nursing home for me! Here is my
plan: I'm checking into the Holiday Inn.
With the average cost fo...

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