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Sex Jokes
Q: What's the difference between light and hard?
A: You can go to sleep with a light on.

Q: What's the difference between dark and hard?
A: It stays dark all night.

Q: What's the difference between a BONUS and a PENIS?
A: Your wife will blow your bonus.

Q: What is the definition of wicker box?
A: It's what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Madonna.

Q: What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
A: They both like a tight seal.

Q: How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A: A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

Q: What is Rodeo Sex?
A: Well, it's where your wife is on all fours, you are firmly
ensconced from the rear with a breast in each hand, and you say to her:
"This
is the way your sister likes it too." You have eight seconds to stay in the
saddle.

Q: Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
A: It changes their blood type.

Q: If you go to bed 9 hours before you have to wake up, and your wife
wants to have 2 hours of sex, how much sleep will you get?
A: 8 hours, 59 minutes - who cares what she wants?!

Q: Why do married men like blowjobs so much?
A: 15 minutes of silence.

Q: What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A: By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have
left
is a greasy box to pop your bone in.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: Why do women have two sets of lips?
A: So they can piss and moan at the same time.

Q: What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.

Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what
have you done wrong?
A: Made her chain too long


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