|There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and
reincarnation. They vowed that if either died, the one remaining
would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days
after their death. Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the young man
died in a car wreck. True to her word, his sweetheart tried to
contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days later. At the
seance, she called out, "John, John, this is Martha. Do you hear me?"
A ghostly voice answered her, "Yes Martha, this is John. I can hear
you." Martha tearfully asked, "Oh John, what is it like where you
are?" "It's great. There are azure skies, a soft breeze, sunshine
most of the time, the grass is so green and the cows have such
beautiful eyes." "What do you do all day?" asked Martha. "Well,
Martha, we get up before sunrise, eat some good breakfast, and
there's nothing but making love until noon. After lunch, we nap until
two and then make love again until about five. After dinner, we go at
it again until we fall asleep about 11 p.m." Martha was somewhat
taken aback. "Is that what heaven really is like?" "Heaven? I'm not
in heaven, Martha." "Well, then, where are you?" "I'm a bull in
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A nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word
'definitely' in a sentence?"
First a little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue."
The teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can sometimes be gray, or
A second little boy says,"Trees are definitely green."